If you want success on your own terms, you have to define your terms."Defaulting" is what we call what happens when you don't make a move in your favor...the situation either stays the same, or it shifts to the most likely outcome to happen without your influence. You don't get to have a say anymore even if you are affected, because you didn't speak up when you had the opportunity. This goes for action too, not just words.
This is another facet to knowing exactly what you want. If you are clueless about what you truly desire in your life, if you don't know what you want, you'll take what you can get...again, you land in the default zone. You didn't know any better, or maybe couldn't have cared less at the time. You
drifted, went with the flow or followed the status quo. You followed the rules. So, take a look at where you are now. Assess your life.
Are you satisfied with what you're doing with your time? Are you content in the life you have? Are you enjoying the security that you envisioned for yourself? Are those visions actually yours?Success on someone else's terms are
their kind of success, not yours. As a kid you may believe they are yours because those standards are what you grew up with, and measured yourself against. Since you grew up with these standards,
they're normal to you. They become your default standards -- but sooner or later, living by default standards can get wearing. Teenage rebellion is only the tip of the iceberg, but it's a very honest example. As an adult, you can take the initiative to test things for yourself and find out what you can do, find out which standards you can truly claim as your own....and you can say it's because you're trying to find out who you are and what you stand for.
For example, which of the following means "success" to you?